Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The air taste purple.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
