The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
