Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Sponge bath it is.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
