sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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