It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
