Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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