problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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