Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
