Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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