just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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