I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
