i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
