He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
