When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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