I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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