I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
is wine microwaveable?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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