I wish I could punch you in the face.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its about making memories worth repressing
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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