dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
