That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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