I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
