I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
