She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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