Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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