Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
