Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
