After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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