I have demons in me.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
