well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
