The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
