I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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