Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
