I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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