yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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