Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
