i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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