nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
