omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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