It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
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I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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