I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i now understand why vodka
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
