Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
