Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
That's intense
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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