Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
