i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
