I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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