I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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