I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
