I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My dick has a subreddit
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
