You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
