i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
