I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
