ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
