My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
