His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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