If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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