so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
