that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
