lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
